I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
pop tarts are not kleenex
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I smell like Dick and happiness
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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