You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
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