What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
only if we run a train.
done.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Randomize
