just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
