.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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