he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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