you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Only a mothe r could love this liver
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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