Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
