Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Operation Purity has been aborted
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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