Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I would fuck him just for his dog
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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