is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
