Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
