He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
