This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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