Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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