We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
