Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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