you turned your livingroom into a bong?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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