So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
