In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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