I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
She's like a pop up book from hell.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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