Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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