Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
