i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
