whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
