She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
