Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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