READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
