i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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