He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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