I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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