she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
