He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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