Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
We need a shit load of segways right now
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
