I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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