Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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