Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
