just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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