I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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