Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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