I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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