I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
