I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
