And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
