Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
