I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Randomize
