It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
