Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
