K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
