You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
