the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
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