Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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